Poingly shows off his untalent in Avril Lavigne regalia
but with the wrong color hair.
Just who is Jason G and why does he warrant a guerrilla interview? Well, I can’t really answer the latter question but I can tell you who he is. Jason G. works for CMJ and before that he did other things. I know him from college where we spent much time in the University Union office. He spent some time as the director of free form college radio station WERW at Syracuse University. At night this mild mannered manboy becomes untalented musician/performance artist and general trainwreck, Poingly. He dresses up like Avril Lavigne, Britney Spears, or Karen O and writhes on the floor screaming and forces people to pull on the strings of those childrens toys that tell you what sounds animals make (i.e. “a cow goes moo.”). He tongue kisses women and men and hands out “I fucked Poingly” buttons. Quite the marketing tool if you ask me. Overall, he’s a swell guy. So without further ado, the next installment of the www.evankessler.com Guerrilla interview.
Evan K: Hello
Jason G: Hey
EK: What would you say makes you so versatile?
JG:I would say I'm probably not all that versatile, I just fool people into thinking I am by doing several variations on one theme.
EK: What theme is that?
JG: Being annoying. There are many ways to be annoying.
EK: Would you say you've mastered a majority of them?
JG: If I was to be honest and humble, then I'd say, no...but it's more annoying to be an arrogant asshole, so yes, I know more about being an annoying jerk than anybody.
EK:Wow, you are an arrogant asshole!
JG: I try. I have good inspiration, like George Bush.
EK: You amaze me with your arrogant assholeness.
JG: Thank you
EK: If pigs were able to fly, what would people replace "when pigs fly" with to say that something would never happen?
JG: Probably something vulgar, like "yeah, when my shit flies out of my ass and into your mouth," or something like that.
EK: And on top of that, if pigs were flying, do you think everything that someone said would happen "when pigs fly" would simultaneously occur?
EK: I see you're thinking about this one.
JG: No, people don't stick to their convictions anymore. Not to mention all the dead people who have said it that are now incapable of doing many things they claimed they would do...but their zombies might do those things. Zombies are good about things like that.
EK: Ok, you've made me lose interest.
JG: I think that answer was worth the wait.
EK: Spell Forgery
JG: ummm...Forgery
EK: But with hyphens in between the letters. That way it looks like you're spelling it.
JG: F-O-G-E-R-Y
JG: Oh, shit look what you made me do. I'm a moron!
EK: Wow, we've just learned a lot about Jason Glastetter.
JG: I'm sorry. You have the wrong number.
EK: Well, but I got the right person.
JG: No, Jason is not here right now
EK: Sounds great.
EK: What kind of an impact do you see Poingly making in the next 3 to 5 minutes?
JG: I see myself breaking something, maybe my microphone stand.
EK: Out of rage or boredom?
JG: Both.
EK: What Poingly song do you expect to be your first #1 single?
JG: Probably a song I haven't written yet.
EK: That's a shame. Maybe you should get to writing some more songs, you'll have more #1 singles
JG: Or the one I'm working on for Britney Spears, but that's a secret project I can't talk about.
EK: Would you consider yourself talented?
JG: No
EK: Good, that's the answer I was fishing for.
EK: How do you feel about Evan Kessler?
JG: He should put out more. Other than that, I have no complaints.
EK: Your complaint is duly noted.
EK: How has EvanKessler.com changed your life?
JG: It keeps me informed regularly of Evan Kessler activities; you really can't beat that.
EK: Why weren't you at Evan Kessler's 4th of July Barbecue?
JG: I was popping pills in an alley behind a Wal*Mart in New Haven.
EK: That's no excuse.
JG: True, it doesn't answer why, it only answers where
and what.
EK: An acceptable excuse would've been. "I didn't want to go because I'm an arrogant asshole."
JG: Ok, yeah, roll with that one, I like it.
EK: And on that note, thank you for participating in the www.evankessler.com guerrilla interview, where the unsuspecting start suspecting early on in the conversation that they are in fact being interviewed.
EK: You are awfully uninteresting and hella arrogant.
JG: Thank you, you're welcome.
FIN
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